The way of consolation to the poet’s wife shows their deep love for each other in "A Valediction : Forbidding Mourning"

“A Valediction : Forbidding Mourning” is one of John Donne’s most famous and simplest poems and also his most direct statement of his ideal of spiritual love to his wife. He was supposed to go to France for a business purpose with his friend in 1611. That time his wife started to mourn. To give consolation to his wife the speaker wrote this poem. To console his wife the poet uses some similes, metaphysical conceits etc. Now I am trying to discuss according to the statement.

The poem starts with the use of simile. The poet compares their love as virtuous man. Virtuous men are not afraid of death. In the same way true lovers are not afraid of separation. Their loyalty and devotion can be enhanced and tested with separation. The poet proposes his wife to let him go without making any noise. There must be no floods of tears or tempest of sighing. Because it can make their love unholy. It would be a disgrace to their holy love if they portray it like the common people.


In the 3rd stanza, the poet says that earthquakes frighten people who wonder at the cause and the meaning of them. People try to find out the cause of earthquakes and to calculate the damage they did. However, the movements of the sun and other heavenly bodies cause no fear, for such movements are natural and harmless. They bring about the changes of the season. Like heavenly bodies their movement is also natural and it will increase their love profoundly.

The love of the worldly people is based on physical attraction. Ordinary lovers can not admit to break them for a long time. They want to enjoy through sensuous and physical love. Physical relationship is unable to accept separation because the elements of their love are physical like beautiful cheeks and lips. On the other hand their love being holy and pure can stand physical separation.

In the 6th stanza, the poet consoles her wife by saying that though their bodies become separated and must live a part for a time in different parts of the world, their souls remain united. The spiritual bond that unites them actually expands, it is like gold when beaten widens and lengthen.

The poet compares their souls by employing a metaphysical conceit of twin compasses. The poet says-
            If they be two, they are two so
                        As stiffe twin compasses are two,
            Thy soule the fixt foot, makes no show
                        To move, but doth, if the’ other doe
Their souls may physically be two but they are united like the two sides of compass at a centre. Since the beloved stays at home, she is compared to the fixed foot of the compass. On the other hand the poets soul is the other foot of the compass moving around. When one foot moves in a circle, obviously the other foot also moves in a point. They can not leave any one. In the same way they are now two feet of the compass who have met together at the centre of love. As the poet says-
                        Thy firmness makes my circle just,
                        And makes me end where I begunne.
           

This poem is such a poem in which Donne shows how much he loves his wife. Grienson admired it as “tenderest of Donne’s love poems”. In spite of the differences of opinion, there is no doubt that the love mentioned in the poem is pure and the metaphysical conceits have made the consolation reasonable and appealing.

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