A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning: Donne's way of argument for his pure love with metaphysical conceits

‘A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning’ is one of the most romantic poems written by John Donne. This is a personal poem showing the pure love and devotion of the poet to his beloved. Critics feel that the poem is addressed to his wife Anne More. The poet is about to leave in the end of 1611 for a short visit to France but this absence of a few weeks may not be taken as an occasion of separation and lamentation. The poet’s wife was not in a good health. But the poet shows the nature of unique and true love which can stand separation on account of mutual confidence and affection by applying metaphysical conceits. His arguments seem to be very impressive.

The poet argues to his beloved to offer her consolation for his short absence. As the virtuous men are not afraid of death, true lovers, in the same way, are not afraid of separation. Their loyalty and devotion to each other can only be tested and enhanced with separation. The poet proposes his beloved to let themselves past quietly without making any scene. Let themselves resist from shading tears or heaving sighs. It would be a disgrace to their holy love if they portray it like the common people.

Men are afraid of earthquakes and the damage caused by them. However, the movement of the heavenly bodies, though much greater and more violent, is quiet and harmless. Similarly ordinary lovers may lament on a separation but their love is so holy and pure that in spite of separation, they don’t have any feeling of loneliness. The physical absence does not matter at all to their chaste and refined kind of love. Physical enjoyment does not govern their love. Here the poet says,

“Dull sublunary lovers' love

(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit

Absence, because it doth remove

Those things which elemented it.”

The love of lowly worldly people is based on physical attraction. Ordinary lovers cannot admit breach. They want to enjoy, through senses, physical love. Breach means break to them for a long time. To them love means sex and so they cannot stand separation or absence. This kind of sexual love is unable to accept separation because the elements of their love are physical like beautiful cheeks and lips. Their feelings, passion, fascination are removed when they face breach. On the contrary, the poet and his beloved’s love being holy and pure can stand physical separation.

Their love is so pure and noble that they themselves do not fully understand its implications. Being independent of physical attraction, it rests on mutual confidence and faithfulness. It does not bother about physical separation and consequent absence of eyes, lips and hands. Here the poet says,

          “Our two souls therefore, which are one,

Though I must go, endure not yet

A breach, but an expansion,

Like gold to airy thinness beat.”

Their souls are one in pure love. If the poet goes away from his beloved, his wife, it does not mean breach or break of love. It is rather an extension of love or like the expansion of a piece of gold beaten to thinness for the sake of production of gold leaf. The poet further argues,

          “If they be two, they are two so

          As stiff twin compasses are two,

          Thy soul the fixed foot, makes no show

          To move, but doth, if the other do.”

Donne compares their souls by employing a metaphysical conceit of ‘twin compasses’. Their souls may physically be two but they are united like the two sides of a compass at a centre. Since the beloved stays at home, she is compared to the fixed foot of the compass. On the other hand, the poet’s soul is the other foot of the compass moving around. When one foot moves in a circle, obviously the other foot also moves in a point – they cannot leave anyone. In the same way, they are now the two feet of the compass who have met together at the centre of love. Here the poet includes,

          “Thy firmness makes my circle just,

          And makes me end, where I begun.”

The poet tells his beloved that her firmness will only strengthen his love. Just as the revolving foot of the compass returns to the central point after completing the circle, in the same way the poet shall return to his beloved. Thus, they will again be united for their love being pure.

Therefore, ‘A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning’ is such a  poem in which Donne shows how much he loves his wife or beloved. Grienson admired it as ‘tenderest of Donne’s love poems’. In spite of the differences of opinion there is no doubt that the love mentioned in the poem is pure and the metaphysical conceits have made the arguments reasonable and appealing.